Mondays

My mom tells me that I always had an aversion to Mondays when I was in school. I used to refuse to get ready on Monday mornings & feign stomach cramps or something till the rickshaw fellow came & left. Then, I'd become okay within a few minutes and run to "Cat Videos" near my place & rent GI-Joe Videos and watch all day long. Habits die hard & this one has stuck to me. I hate Monday mornings & of late Mondays in its entirety. Here's why,

* I always feel like a water-soaked log on Monday mornings. My eyelids feel sewn to my face & refuse to pop open even after repeated knocks on my room's door & ONLY after my dad threatens to break open the door, I manage to get up.

* The toothpaste tastes like crap only on Monday mornings & leave a sour taste right at the beginning of a fresh week.

* The shower malfunctions on Monday mornings. ALWAYS.

* My socks never match.

* The iron-wala always creases my flat front pants.

* Breakfast tastes like Tar+Salt+Soya, thanks to the toothpaste-taste in my mouth.

* I always search for my access card & watch on Monday mornings 'cos I throw them astray when I get home on Saturday. Mmm, maybe this is my fault. But, I blame Mondays!!!!

* The cute girl in the apartment at the end of the street always leaves early on Monday mornings.

* My bus is bang on time on Mondays. Never a minute late. Never a minute early. I always miss it, and end up paying 80 rupees to a auto fellow who does not pity my situation, but expects my sympathy on the issue of growing petrol prices.

* My boss is always at the gate, coming out for a smoke & notices that I am 15 minutes late. Only on Mondays.

* My Lotus notes takes 10 minutes to load 'cos the server is overloaded on Mondays.

* I get to know from my colleague that my boss had called on the office intercom 3 times in the past 15 minutes. Only on Mondays.

* There is something wrong in the shop floor, at three different places, at the SAME time. Only on Mondays.

* My team gives me the good news that we made a blunder last week. Key is that enough stress is made on "WE". So, Monday mornings are reserved for blitz-meetings & frantic running around the office.

* My project presentation that was a big hit at the meeting last Friday does not make any sense to my boss on Monday morning. He wants me to redo the presentation & beam it to three countries. In three different languages. The meeting is scheduled for 7 in the evening so that my peers in France, Germany or Switzerland can relax in their leather recliners during THEIR office hours and listen to me.

* Canteen food tastes like Jail food. NO, I have not been to Prison! I just assume that food there is bad and stale.

* I ALWAYS get stuck in traffic on Mondays while getting back home. My bosses did not think it through building a Nuclear Engineering firm on an IT corridor. Morons.

* The cute girl at the end of the street ALWAYS notices my disheveled state returning home.

* There are guests at Home on Monday evenings. Sigh.

* I always lose playing God of War on PlayStation on Mondays.

* By the time I go to sleep, I have a stirring awakening that my weekend was completely wasted, Monday turned out to be hopeless and I should go bury myself somewhere!!

There you go. This is just a brief list that came to my mind. Apart from this, there are a million incidents that occur on Mondays. But the ones above are the most frequent. I favor a motion banning Mondays. Don't know if it makes any sense. But this is a rant, ain't it? So, I get to make my wish :P