To pee or not to pee

I was damn excited about travelling to Italy. Milan has been on the top of my "Places to visit before I die" list & to go there at such a young age (I know that one wiseass is probably making a note to remind me of my age when she speaks to me next) was a dream come true. So, with my pulse racing, I reached Paris, having spent New Year's on an Air France plane with the only person in my age group being a 12 year old boy who was going to Disneyland. Sigh.

Having caught a shuttle flight from Paris CDG to Milan, I set foot into the place of my dreams. Women, Fashion, Pizza, Wine & Ferrari!!! What I did get was a wait of approximately 5 hours 'cos my luggage got misplaced. I did get my stuff back, but had to field a lot of questions about its contents.

It was snowing heavily. I had never experienced snowfall before & it was a pleasant feeling. The downside was that everyone (read as women) was wrapped up in layer after layer of clothing & the rich folk decided to keep their million dollar Ferraris in the garage. Sigh again.

2 weeks later, I had to move to Lyon, to start a new chapter of my life. I had no idea of what was waiting for me in Lyon. Totally anxious, I reached Milan Centrale, to catch my TGV superfast train to Lyon. The train was slated to start from Platform 1 on my ticket, but the listing showed a train to Paris at that platform. Little did I know that the train to Lyon would eventually go to Paris. So after running back and forth between the platforms and the inquiry offices, struggling to find someone who understood English & my queries, I became queasy & wanted to go to the rest-room. Here's where the real fun starts.

The rest-room or "WC" as it is known in Italy was on the other end of the station. Dragging my luggage along with me, I made the expedition to the other end. The entry to the rest-room was restricted & I had to pay 0.7 Euro to gain "entrance". Not 1 Euro or 0.5 Euro. 0.7 Euro. When a man has to pee, his greatest enemy is such ridiculous pay systems. The damn machine refused to accept anything other that 0.5Euro+0.2Euro combination. It refused to accept a higher denomination!!! So, cursing GE systems (which is one of my company's biggest competitors in Europe) for hatching a devious plan to kill me, I looked around to find somebody else to help me out with some change. And then, the following happend.

A well dressed gentleman, on the other side of the automatic doors was letting people through by pressing the Exit button from the inside & collecting a token of appreciation in small change from their end. He beckoned towards me to come through the gates. But, being an Indian, and one with high moral integrity *cough cough* (Shut up, vandy :) ), and majorly influenced by the fact that there was a CCTV camera monitoring the entrance, I refused to accept the stranger's offer.

I managed to go to the nearest shop that was selling cigarettes, and asked for some change. The nice shopkeeper refused to lend me some change unless I bought something from her. I bought a pack of cigarettes (I don't smoke btw), got the magical amount of money, ran to the WC, paid the ass-of-a-machine, and went inside.

I was just about to, you know, do my thing, when I noticed the gentleman move towards me with intent. Obviously I had pissed him off. Pun not intended. I had deprived him a chance to earn that vital extra few cents that would enable him to finally fulfil his dreams of a Harvard education!! AND, I also noticed a camera INSIDE the rest-room. What kind of a sick country wants to watch people relieve themselves?? Sick!! So, under extreme pressure, I finished what I had come in to do, grabbed my luggage & ran to the platform nearby. And then, something else happened.

Little did I know that a train from Naples had just arrived at that platform. The train was full of football fans who had come to "enjoy" a football game between Naples FC & AC Milan. They were shouting at the top of their voices & whatever they were saying did not go well with the volatile Italian Police. They felt obliged to release tear-gas on the hapless supporters & I got mixed in the madness and lost one piece of my luggage. My sis had warned me about pickpockets in Milan, but not about luggage-thieves. After lodging a complaint to the Police & informing my insurance agents about the loss, I made the trip to Lyon the next day. In one piece & with a brand new wardrobe :)

Milan did not turn out to be the way I expected it to be. The fashionable women were decked out in full length coats. Sigh. The Ferraris were in their garages (I did manage to see Kimi's car though & a Lambhorgini). And Pizza wasn't that great. And oh, if anyone goes "Oh my God!!! You went to Milan!!!!!! That is so damn cool!! I seriously envy you!!", please go take a look yourselves. You might fare better than me.